October 15, 2008

Tiny Mix Tapes

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AJ Pacitti
Writer

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Most Recent Writing

TOUR NEWS: The Kooks to Tour, Me to Wonder If I Was Destined to Fall In Love With a Less Quirky British Version of Myself With The Same Last Name, Or If This Is Another One of Those Things I Just Convince Myself Out Of Compulsive Boredom
TOUR NEWS: Black Lips to Tour, Probably to Piss Onstage and/or Get Naked
MISC NEWS: Howard Stern To Remake Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Still No Word As To Whether The Ramones Will Be Played By A Cast of Swollen-Lipped "Adult" Entertainment Stars
TOUR NEWS: Ra Ra Riot To Tour, Spin Editors to Wet Themselves, TMT Newswriter Recalls Pregnant Lady Playing Pool Fondly
RELEASE NEWS: Ani DiFranco To Release 20th Album, Napolitano Cites Concerns: Economy, Inability for ’90s Feminists to Experience Love
RELEASE NEWS: The Verve to Release Forth; Forth To Apparently Include Ten Tracks That Are Not “Bitter Sweet Symphony”
TOUR NEWS: Boy George Cancels Tour, Ticketholders Forced to Stay Home and Shoot up While Listening to Culture Club Tracks on Their Microsoft Zunes
RELEASE NEWS: Patti Smith documentary out this September, Me to note in a roundabout way that I (sort of) think Patti Smith is (sort of) the coolest, Me to figuratively mumble this, Wear backwards cap and drag my foot a little like a nervous elementary school kid that breathes heavily through their mouth, You to have to understand all that isn’t said, Patti Smith to inevitably accept my macaroni necklace
TOUR NEWS: Dizzee Rascal adds more dates to tour, Grime beats to inevitably be appropriated by imitators, Me to later cover the tourdates of those imitators and probably say something underhandedly ironic, Me to probably end up alone in a series of transitory moments re-contextualizing personal and professional moments of underhanded irony
RELEASE NEWS: Aesop Rock to Release Instrumentals, A Capellas, and Lyrics for None Shall Pass, Carrie Bradshaw to Fictitiously Discuss This In Her Fictitious Sex Column, American Women to Blindly Accept That Writing a Sex Column Would Warrant A Budget Sizable Enough For Weird, Expensive Headwraps, Fur Shrugs, Cases of Marlboro Lights, and Enough Cosmopolitans to Kill a Lifetime of Loneliness, Intense Periods of Sexual Frustration and Realized Inadequacy
RELEASE NEWS: Will Sheff to Reveal Part II of Concept Project Saga Thing, Kids to Overuse This Subsequent Release As a Back to School Conversation Piece and Probably Annoy Me, Me Bored With My Look and Wondering If I Should Start Wearing Penny Loafers Next Season, Oh, Yeah, Okkervil River to Tour
TOUR NEWS: The Jealous Girlfriends to Tour with Sea Wolf, You to Go to a Show, Your Annoying Girlfriend to Demand Knowing Who is Going to Be There, What Time You Will Be Back, If You Will Buy Her a Tee-Shirt, You to Hate Her But Still Probably Do It When You Get Home If Nothing Is On But Syndicated Episodes of One Tree Hill
MISC NEWS: Burger King To Lay a Greasy, Trans-Fatty Paw in the Ring Tone Biz, Shimmy-Shakin’-Ring-Ringz To Be Offered at Value Meal Prices
TOUR NEWS: Bill Callahan to Tour, Me to Not Make Fun of Him, Find Happiness, Appreciate Life, Subsequently Appreciate High Art
INDUSTRY NEWS: RIAA Sues Homeless Man For Cardboard Boxes, Can of Beans, Cool Stick Thing With Tied Polka Dot Kerchief on It

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